i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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