After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
