I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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