I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
