yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
