9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
