the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's the barista slut.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize