**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
