grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
