we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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