Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
