census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
