Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize