Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
