Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize