Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
