is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize