I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
