I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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