That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
