whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
PANTIES FOUND
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
