there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
