So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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