I'm jealous of your bromance
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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