And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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