this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
