I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize