is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
