I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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