well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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