You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
