I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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