Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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