u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
