so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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