I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
is it fun? or sober?
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