hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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