even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is classic penis vs brain.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
