he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
