At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
