dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
