I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
