I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
