I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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