What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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