so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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