I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
