The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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