hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize