I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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