Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
