Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
