I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
