Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
