Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize