Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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