I wannas sexs uuuuu
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
