it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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