Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
