Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
