I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i now understand why vodka
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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