you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
