she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
