you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
