first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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