just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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