Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
