At least make sure they are 18
Why
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
