NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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