it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
