I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
