Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
