Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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