I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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