I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
