The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
